i complaint.. but..

today,
at my mom's shop..
i suddenly told my mom..

"ma, i dun tink so my life now is complete..

itz about daddy..

he fetched me to school every morning, and every morning lah he wont even talk to me!

datz so-not natural! !

and i have a father, equals to no father like dat..

wat he ever did was saying, "enuf money anot?"

DATZ ALL~

he wont even have a conversation wif me more than 1 minute!!"

i was complaining... again n again..
diz is not my 1st time either..
since my daddy married to my mom 4 years ago,
i've beginning to complain..
bout daddy's not-healthy-conversation wif me and my bro..
but to my 3 sisters, he ok pulak.. =.=ll

few hours later..
my mom replied.. steadily..

"ur daddy, is having big pressure everyday..

he have to go to work as early as 7am..

to fetch his Indonesian workers to the sites..

and come bek only around 6pm or 7pm..

he have 80+ Indonesian worker to take care of..

and he have to finish fetching before 9am..

there's currently 5 sites.. all over kuantan..

.

1 Indo worker, cost him RM 40-60 per day..

datz y, he have to come bek and count EACH AND EVERYONE of the workers OT..

to pay their salary..

one week, he have to take out almost RM 2ok to pay his workers..

not only do the counting of hours of his workers,

he have to draw plans for new housing area oso..

sometimes, he'll stay up late at nite..

to finish up his work..

.

he's a timid type of man..

so, when the boss is damn cerewet, daddy just have to follow..

and will only spill everything out to mom only at home..

.

ur biological father..

wat did he gave u?

money? happiness? joy?

no....

he gave u..

suffering..

pain..

sadness..

almost everyday i have to face a "beast" at home..

getting ready to be scolded and to be shouted and to be yelled..

.

ur daddy.. is trying his best to give happiness, give comfortable life for u guys..

he's trying his very best..

not be same like ur father..

to become a better father for u guys..

he might not fulfill ur wish to have a perfect daddy,

but he's trying his best to become one..

not all men who marries a woman wif 5 children,

will treat u as good as ur daddy..

let's not complain bout him too much kay?"

.

i cant control it..

my tears drop instantly after my mom finish saying that..

i was a jerk..

i was a fool..

i was an idiot..

to tink bad bout my daddy..

without even knowing what he had done for me and to my siblings..

.

a man, who has no blood-connection wif us siblings..

share his commitment, time, money, comfortability and everything that he owns..

he don't have to do this..

but he did..

.

mom's frens and siblings symbolises him as an angel, sent by God from heaven..

to help us when we're having really hard times before mom became a divorcee..

if there's no him.. there's no me now..

.

thx daddy..

now i realise..

and im so sorry..

sorry..

to have misunderstood u..

so sorry..

eventhough u cnt hear me say this..

but.. i jz wanna let u now that..

i'll love u alwiz dad..