just spill it out! !

please dont tell me we have to end our coversation with arguments EVERYTIME..
diz is not the first time ady..
it'll just spoil my whole day's mood..

i dont contact u often anymore.. sometimes for few days i didnt find you..
u wanna noe why?
i wanted to be more INDEPENDENT.. just like her..
but when i have the chance to text you, even just for few minutes,
it'll just end wif arguments..
when im trying to tell you bout the probz i faced at sch or anywhere,
it'll just end up wif arguments..
when i wanna tell u dat im not in the mood, needed somebody to at least comfort me abit,
it'll just end wif arguments..

do you tink itz easy? resisting myself frm not doing what i wanna do??
itz not easy, itz fcuking hard! by staring at the phone,
looking at the photo that will appear on my screen saver,
and resisting myself most of the time frm hitting the keys on my phone..
you now what you'll say after reading diz?
"fine, just forget bout it" or "if you find it so hard, just forget bout it"
or whateva which are equivalent..
i BET you'll have diz in your mind rite now..

the consequences of writing diz, im so aware of it..
im so ready to face whateva u're going to say to me..
whether what u're gonna say is +ve or -ve, itz unpredictable..
but what i wanna say is, i take diz as a lesson, and try to improve myself better nxt time..
coz all the arguments, existed mainly becoz of me..
and of coz i'll not blame you..

he can say that im selfish, wanted him all by myself..
but is dat what's really happening? am i really selfish??..
over the years, i've known him, his beahaviour and.. and... argh~ nvm..
lets just say dat i love him for what he is..
now and alwiz will..

ppl might say, "jolene is such a loser in love"
or "thank God my bf treats me better"
or "im so grateful that my bf is not like hers"
to them, i will only say diz..
""my love life had been diz way since many many years ago, whether u like it anot, jolene like it diz way so much more than yours!""

i shall off now,
and cry to sleep..
but later whateva u wanna tell me bout diz,
i shall not listen..
coz what i wanna spill out, it'll end here..

datz all..

sayonara..

""we have hopes coz we have love""

~(JoLeNe)~

.