everyone here seems so excited here, coz they're having barbeque tonite. but me? im here, trapping myself in the room, playing Plant vs Zombie, Baling Life and Plant vs Zombie again. itz not like i dont wanna help them or watsoever, but im afraid if i go out there, i'll spoil everyone's mood. i can hardly put a smile on my face, whereas from the room, i can hear laughter and joy from them. im bad am i?
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you never try to understand how i feel. i know that i sounded like i dont care bout how u doing, but actually i really do care bout you. instead, when i try telling you bout me, did you try to understand?? NO! i dont quite understand why u behaved that way, coz usually, u'll care. but now, itz the direct opposite. u asked me, am i okay.. shall i answer, "no! im not ok at all!" after u showed how inconsiderate you are about me? the answer "yah, im ok" is all i can say to you. coz i dont think you wanna care also if i say im not okay.
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you know what? itz okay for you not to care bout me. really. itz okay..
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now, i wanna make myself useful here. im gonna march out with a BIG BIG smile on my face, pretend to forget everything awhile, and just have fun with the others. im going out.
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janne.
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